"Why did you choose THAT career?!"

Everybody asks

‘I just know it’s my calling.’

As cliche as it may sound, since I first volunteered with an Undertaker aged 17, I knew the profession was my vocation.

I attended a funeral of a Great Uncle, and having been struck by the profoundness of the pall bearing and the lowering of the coffin into a straw lined grave. I asked the Funeral Director if I could come and see what the day to day role entails.

He welcomed me with open arms and there I started my voluntary role within the profession.

I threw myself into all aspects of the job. I would help put handles on the coffins, collect people from the hospital mortuary, meet with families to hear about the life of the person who had died, learn what and who was important to them, we would start to plan how we were going to commemorate their life and personality in a way that felt right.

Not formulaic or prescriptive.

My 'employer' and I would walk to bakery to get lunch, stop and chat to the locals we passed by,

‘How’s that new knee?’

‘Hope you have a good holiday next week’

‘Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten the invoice!’

Everybody wanted to give us a nod, a hand shake, a kind exchange of words.

With sandwiches in hand we would make our way up to the church to mark where a grave was to be dug. We would take a turn round the churchyard and I would hear the stories of the people that lay beneath, who had been laid their by my mentors own hands.

Whilst awaiting the grave digger we would lean on a headstone in the sun and eat our lunch.

I was lucky enough to start being introduced to local ministers and fellow Undertakers who knew and worked alongside my Grandfather. He had been a local Canon. After starting off life as a farm labourer he was told "Your voice is far too good for cows sir, it is best practised on sermons!" and with that he left to become a curate. He become notable for his 'good funeral' services, summarising ones character, warts and all. These relationships that I was now learning of and continuing were decades long, important and fundamental, to both the past and present.

It was during these formative months and years, that I learnt the most significant aspect of the career for me. Community.

Somewhere we belong in life and in death.

Community holds us accountable. Provides us with roles and responsibilities. Looks out for one another.

I use the word community as not a physical place perhaps, although it is for some, but more as a reference to our own individual network. People we share interests and have connections with. These people become our community.

When asked to think of people who become pillars in our geographical communities, our towns and villages, one would assume we would all have a similar list- Our Dr's, local MP's, publicans, religious leaders, school teachers, parish council chairpersons etc..

However the one role that will be missing off most peoples list is the Undertaker. Who works quietly and discreetly, will be available anytime of day. Who will touch the lives of all our family members, when most at need.

Having the privilege to look after people who have died in our community is one part of the role, the other, helping the living. We work closely with the members of our local communities, the aforementioned and the families. We are honoured to make personal connections and relationships with all.

We have the profound role of laying our dead to rest.

We are integrated, rooted and necessary.

Why would you not choose this career?!